Write the Vision...

Sometimes I am asked to fill in on the Behavioral Health Unit for the hospital that I work for when one of the regular Case managers is out.  When I do, I have the opportunity to conduct psychotherapy groups for the patients (fun, fun!).  I actually really like the groups because they give me a chance to connect with multiple patients at once on real issues that we all encounter every day. 

There’s this activity where I give the patients a copy of Colin Powell’s “Rules to Live By”.  On the back, there is a title “(Your name here)’s Vision Plan for Wellness” with a bunch of empty lines going down the page.  The idea here is to get the patients to start to think of positive action statements to use as a guide to direct their new path to taking better care of themselves and their mental health.  Sounds pretty good, huh?

Well, I got to thinking about these activities and how full of knowledge and ideas and positive thinking I am when I’m standing in front of these groups. I realized that I am such a HUGE fraud!  First of all, I have NEVER done any of those activities for myself, and second of all, I have no clue what my own “Vision Plan” is or what that really means!  To be totally honest, I am just as flawed and troubled as they are, I just “manage” it a little bit better.

So what exactly is a vision and what the heck is the purpose of having one?  There are TONS of well known quotes that come to mind immediately like “It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision” from Helen Keller, or “Where there is no vision, there is no hope”, by George Washington Carver.  And let’s not even get started on the bible verses.  There’s Proverbs 29:18 “Where there is no vision the people perish” or Habakkuk 2:2-3 “Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry”. All this sounds great and definitely will get you fired up and ready to go…somewhere.

I am a fairly? logical and practical thinker, so my first thought when trying to figure out what vision was and how to get one was to look up the definition.  Merriam-Webster online had this to say about vision:

            ¹vi·sion

noun \ˈvi-zhən\

1: a thought, concept, or object formed by the imagination

    c : a manifestation to the senses of something immaterial

2  a : the act or power of imagination b (1) : mode of seeing or conceiving (2) : unusual discernment or foresight

3a : the act or power of seeing

4a : something seen b : a lovely or charming sight

After looking at these definitions and thinking about them for a while, I started to consider the question that we have all been asked at some point in our life, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” As a grown-up, I have struggled with that question a lot, and so have most, if not all, of my close friends.  It’s very disturbing to get to your 30’s and realize you have no clue what you want to do with your life.  So as usual for me, this is when I start praying. I needed God to help me figure out what his vision was for me because I had no idea. 

The thing is, you can’t figure out your purpose in life and not have a vision. The two work together.  To me, having a vision is that same as being able to say that I have goals and a plan to accomplish those goals.  Kind of like a To Do List for my life.  So I prayed and prayed, and once again, I ignored the answer. Why? Because I didn’t get the answer I was expecting.

Like many of us, I was expecting my answer to be something really cool that I would enjoy, that made sense with all the other things going on in my life.  I also really wanted it to include a huge increase in income for me and my family- and I wanted that to happen fairly quickly because there’s a lot of stuff that we need to get done and we’d like to get it done in a hurry.  So I kept praying and ignoring the answer, waiting for God to give in and give me what I wanted my way. Guess what? It didn’t happen.

God’s vision for me and my life calls for me to take a big time-out from my plans to spend time with him; to really get to know what faith is about and the point of having it in the first place.  The vision also called for me practice giving, and doing it cheerfully, and not worrying about receiving so much.  They always use that scripture in church around offering time about it being more blessed to give than to receive and God loving a cheerful giver, but you never really hear it used much in terms of non-monetary things like time, a kind word, or prayer for someone else. 

Sure, there are some awesome blessings in store for us as well, but I have to walk out the entire plan first.  And that brought me to the first big “Ah Ha” moment on my journey for purpose: To live a life of active service.

I was first introduced to community service by my fifth grade teacher Mrs. Faye Lenna (hands down the best teacher EVER- and a blessing to me in more ways that she will ever really know).  From the moment when I realized that a poor, essentially homeless, kid like me had the power to make a difference in the life of another child, I was hooked.  I spent my entire high school and college years pulling off one super-extravagant service project after the other. And somewhere along the way, I got it in my head that I had to be a part of a group or organization, or have a considerable amount of extra money lying around to be able to do a really good service project. 

Because of this faulty logic, I went years without serving in any capacity.  And I was completely miserable.  As a matter of fact, during that big crisis of conscious and purpose that I had in 2010, one of the main things that I cited as a reason for my discontent was the fact that I longed to be of service. I felt like I was a disappointment to God because I wasn’t doing a thing with any of the gifts he gave me to help others.  It has now occurred to me, that I don’t need any more than I already have to be an effective servant and help to others.  The only thing stopping me was me.

I realized that my real problem was that I was caught up in the extravagance- the huge sweeping programs and activities, and yes, I will admit, the kudos that went along with pulling it off.  The more I prayed about it, the more God showed me that service is giving love and help to others without the expectation of anything in return; to be cheerful and prayerful for the benefit of others.

That was huge for me. All of a sudden, literally like a flood, here comes all this extra vision and purpose and goals, without any real effort on my part other than the willingness to surrender and be obedient.  The point? If you are willing to open yourself up to experiencing your life differently from the way you’ve figured it out in your head- realizing that your dreams and fantasies are more than likely rooted in desires and wants and not need and fulfillment- you will open yourself   up to a whole new realm of possibility and make room for God to work in your life.  My entire attitude about what it means to serve changed when I realized that there are no limits to love and the ways that it is expressed from one soul to another.  It brings a joy that is indescribable and ascribes a different meaning to the reason why I’m here living this life.

Now I can answer the questions on those worksheets I give to my patients. I feel much less like a hypocrite when I stand before those people and tell them that I really do understand what it feels like not to know how to begin to put your life back on track. And as I pray each day I go up there, I really do hope that God will use me to be a shining example of His love for them and that through me, they will see and hear what they need to bring them closer to starting, building, or strengthening a relationship with Him.