Invasion of the Screens- Part 1

You can't help but notice that everywhere you go these days, everybody is very busy looking at a screen. There are iPhones, smartphones, iPads, and tablets. Every business or establishment has a flat screen playing some sort of programming, and your car has screens telling where to go, how to get there, or what to listen to. As our society is become more technologically advanced, we have become more connected--we can talk to anyone, anywhere, at any time in 140 characters or less. More people know the idle thoughts that come across our minds than ever before, and we believe that this keeps us in touch with all of those that matter most to us in the world. The problem with this, however, is that our society is growing more dis-connected by the day. We have lost the ability to relate to each other on a human level; the ability to think and process independent of a device.

A few days ago, I had to go to the doctor because I had come down with the flu. While sitting in the waiting room reading a book (an actual book- not an electronic one) I looked up and noticed that of the 8 other people there, 7 of them where doing something on their telephone. There was also a plasma screen playing Access Health with Robin Meade in the background. There was another waiting room on the other side of the urgent care facility where people who were not sick waited, and the scene there was much the same. I found it curious that everyone there had someone with them, presumably for support so they would not have to be alone, yet they were not talking to these people, they were fiddling with their phones, or watching television.

I noticed a similar scene recently when I went to the campus of my Alma Mater. I needed to request a transcript, and as I walked across campus, I saw many young college students scurrying across campus looking at their phones, texting, Facebooking, tweeting, or listening to music. First of all, I found it amazing that they can walk and type at the same time, but I was also a bit puzzled by the fact that it has now become impossible to walk from one place to another and actually experience the journey; you know, the act of actually taking in the environment around you. Or, taking part in the good ole' Southern tradition of speaking or nodding at others as you pass them by.

This new phenomenon has crossed over into my work as a counselor as well. Now when I meet someone who has attempted to commit suicide, more than likely, they posted it on Facebook or Twitter, and then someone called the police. These social media outlets seem to be the place where the entire world resides. I have patients who are completely distraught over things that people have said about them on Facebook, or inappropriate photos that were posted on Instagram. I have been verbally assaulted by people who refuse to give up cell phones because it is their only connection to the world; yet they are depressed because they have no friends...

Truthfully, I do see the positive benefits of all of the technology that is at our fingertips. I can honestly say that I do believe that as a society, by and large we are safer now that just about everyone has a cell phone, and navigation systems have made getting to our destination much, much easier. But as a professional, and as a mother, I can't help but admit that I am scared about where the world is going.

Enter 1984.

When I was in the ninth grade, I was introduced to George Orwell. The first book that I read was the novella Animal Farm (which was absolutely terrifying!), a story that depicted a communist government through the use of animals on a farm. It started out innocent enough, but then took a most shocking turn. Even at 14, I realized just how much it depicted actual human nature and how much power can corrupt the soul. But then, we read the book 1984. I found the story to be a bit grim and dark, but for some reason it captivated me. I read it again the summer before my senior year while at Governor's School- East, a state sponsored summer program for promising young high school students. While reading the book this time, my class was instructed to act out the premise of the novel.  We called our society LANCE (LAurinburg, North Carolina, East), and because our dorms were separated by gender, we had to augment our society and have not only a Big Brother, but a Big Sister as well; and I was her (insert evil laugh here;)) !

This activity was LOTS of fun, and I totally got into being all powerful, but I don't think I really got the meaning of the book until about 4 years ago. I began to realize that the media-  whether news, entertainment etc,- controls what we think, how we think, and what we do. Propaganda abounds whether we like it or not. Most people don't like that thought  and will shout from the rooftops just how independent they are, and yet, they somehow seem to be just as caught up with whatever the current trend is as the next person. The flat screens that exist in every building you enter today are exactly like the flat screen that existed in every building in the novel 1984. Screens that were constantly running images of propaganda put out by Big Brother--much like CNN or Fox News.

Everywhere the main character Winston went, he never knew if there were cameras or listening devices hidden someplace--just like today, any device--smart phones, computers, and tablets--can be used as listening devices by our government (check out the movie Eagle Eye).

Am I a conspiracy theorist? Nope--I honestly don't care much about that. If anybody wants to spy on me doing homework with my kids, cleaning the house, or making dinner--be my guest! Not too much excitement going on in my house-lol. But what I am concerned about, is the idea of losing the ability to think independently, to create, and to know and recognize truth. I am deeply concerned that as our children grow up in a society where everything they learn comes from a screen, they are being conditioned to be reactive and to assimilate to whatever they hear, and not to think for themselves.

My son is currently in the third grade at what I consider to be a pretty good elementary school. When he started first grade, I noticed that a large portion of his classroom instruction was completed via a computer program. Moreover, he was expected to complete 20 minutes of math and 20 minutes of reading nightly on two separate internet-based computer games.  For the life of me, I couldn't understand why he couldn't do math worksheets or read an actual book, but putting kids in front of the computer seemed to be the "new way of teaching". At first I just thought his teacher was lazy, but then we started getting those recorded telephone calls from the principal reminding parents to let the kids get on those programs nightly. I honestly don't know if the program was effective or not;  I chose not to let my son participate. Instead, I just took him to the library and helped him pick out books he would enjoy, but that were also a challenge. And as far as math goes, I made up problems myself, or printed out age appropriate worksheets off the internet.

Why? The answer is simple. I have chosen to limit my children's screen time because I want to try to preserve their imagination. The words in the text should paint a picture for them to visualize in their own minds--that's the fun part of reading a book. I also want them to learn how to figure out problem solving, sans music and cartoons. Believe it or not, problem solving is one of those transferable skills that crosses over to other things--life is, after all, all about solving problems. I want them to figure out how to exercise and use their own minds, not rely on programming.

Alas, I am aware of the fact that my "stance" is clearly not going to stop the world. When I jog in the morning I see mothers with toddlers in strollers that are being happily entertained by iPads. I even saw a commercial for a bouncy seat for infants that has an attachment for a tablet! I was completely appalled and said out loud how I would never purchase such a thing if I had a baby. My son asked me why, clearly thinking that it looked pretty cool. I explained to him that a baby's mind is a sponge, and the purpose of their days is experience the environment around them. The sights and sounds of their world, and the people in it. They are picking up on language and music, watching how we interact with one another, learning how to function in the world. That time is too precious to spend watching a character bounce around a screen instead of attending to the world around them.

It's not a surprise to me that our youth are scoring behind teens in other countries all over the world. Our society values entertainment and frivolity over the actual cultivation of minds. And it makes me sad. It devastates me to know, that one day in the not too distant future, someone will be able to appear on one of those screens and tell our children that 2+2 really does equal 5, and they will believe it.

Loving the Good and the Bad

What does it mean to be a “good person”? I hear that a lot as I go about my day; people say “…but I’m a good person” or “…he really is a good person, though”. More often than not it seems, that statement comes as a validation, usually after something not so complimentary. You know those situations where someone has behaved badly, but they “really are a good person” in spite of what they have done. “Bob cheats on his wife, but he really is a good person”, or “Sally abuses pain pills and drinks too much, but she’s a good person”. It seems like it’s almost a knee jerk reaction to say that we, or someone else, is good. That in spite of whatever “bad” they may do, there is still some value to who they are and the bad stuff should just be overlooked.

I started to really think about all of this while deciding whether or not to buy a co-worker a card. His dog died, and he was pretty bummed out about it. Not being a pet owner, I don’t completely understand people’s attachments to pets, but I can empathize with the loss of a significant relationship and the void that it leaves. Dogs and cats aren’t people, but they have souls and personalities, and they are individual and unique, just as humans are. I found myself second guessing the gesture of picking up a card and a small gift card for coffee. I often over analyze every decision that I make, but in this case, I wanted to make sure that I was doing it for the “right” reason. Not exactly sure what the wrong reason could be, but I didn’t want him to think I was strange for deciding that his loss merited Starbucks and card with a goofy dog wearing a cape on the front.

As I was going over my decision in my head, I caught myself thinking, “I’m doing this because I’m a good person”, as if somehow this singular act made me noble and wonderful and free from flaws, mistakes, or malice. The more I thought about it, the more I considered the idea of “good” and “bad”, and even more so the idea of being redeemed. According to the Word of God, we are all bad and fall short. We are all full of sin. Sin is not good. However, because God is good, and he sent his Son to die for us and to atone for our sin.  And all our “badness” can be and is forgiven because of the love that was shown for us.

I have to be upfront and honest and say that I am NOT one of those glass half full people that believes we are all inherently good. It could be because I have seen so much evil perpetrated by one human being onto others over and over that I have now become a bit cynical. My best friend and cousin would definitely say so. But regardless of what anyone’s opinion is about that, it is impossible to be a Christian and not agree that we all sin, daily, and have to be forgiven, daily. We do bad, daily, and he cleanses us, daily. This fact leads me to believe that asserting my “goodness” is pointless, because it is already established that I am not. Instead, I find it better to strive to be a person who shows love, a person who shows compassionate, a person who is genuine, or a person with an open heart. It really isn’t necessary to qualify my behaviors as good, better, best, or bad, worse, worst. My goal however is to be obedient and show love to my neighbor, as Jesus commanded. Love can cover a multitude of sins—after all, His love did that for me.